Thursday, March 08, 2012


Today we had the funeral service for my mother in law, Donna Lawrence. She died on Sunday morning peacefully in her sleep after months and months of suffering from a debilitating disease. Her husband cared for her with such incredible love these past months that it inspired my brother in law to say in the funeral service, “he showed me how to be a man.” I don’t know why she had to suffer so much. She was perhaps the most kind person I have ever known.

It was in fact my mother in law who picked out my wedding ring. She called Sopurkh one day and said, “I don’t know, this ring just seems to be the one.” It was in fact the perfect ring....still within my husband’s budget, but sparkly enough to make me feel special. This morning as I put on the ring, and a blue crystal necklace that she had given to me I looked in the mirror and felt a pang of sadness tug at my heart as I realized the loss I felt inside. I hoped as I did a full circle that if I just kind of kept moving it would create enough sparkle that I would at least honor my mother in law as opposed to just sitting down with my head in my hands and crying which is what I felt like doing.

Such a beautiful lady, such a beautiful grandmother. It felt strange to have the realization that my daughter would not have the opportunity to grow flowers in the garden and find salamanders on the road with her grandmother.

As we entered the Church this morning and sat down, I could feel the collective burden of eyes on us as all of her friends and family looked at us as we took our seats. This day had brought some blessings. One was that my husband and his brother were reunited after many years. During the service the two of them got up together to speak about their mother. As they spoke, I could feel the great history between the two of them with many snow ball fights, swims, camping trips, and I’m sure plenty of mischief. More importantly I could feel the love that their mother had showered so graciously upon them. And now, their love for her was coming out in their words so pure, and so true.

Their stories brought everyone to tears, including Grandpa who sat next to me. I could do nothing but put my arms around him. What do you do in moments like these? What do you do with pure love? You can only be present with it. And that is in fact the present that Donna gave to us. It was just pure love. She was just a loving and kind person through and through.

If you were a turtle who happened to be trying to cross the road outside of her house, her dogs, her sons who grew up with her, her beloved husband, her daughter in law, her grand son, her grand daughter, or simply her friend.... you were damn lucky. You got love... you got pure love.

And so later that day as I shopped for some snacks for my daughter and my cart smashed into the cracker shelf, instead of getting frustrated and allowing one of my classic “I’ve had it looks! “ that my daughter has seen so many times, I decided to take a deep breath and smile. I got inspired to be like Donna.... to find the way no matter what to be loving and kind. “She did it” I thought to myself. “I can do it too.” I know that her life had struggles. I know that all of our lives do. Yet she rose above. Blessings to all of us that we can too. And blessings to the Soul of Donna, thank you for all that you have done for us.



Beloved Snatam,
this is really a very inspiring post. Thank you so much for sharing it with us! It makes me want to do it, too: to smile instead of getting frustrated.
Thank you, love,
Sat Nam, Snatam.

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother-in-law. Thank you for sharing such a tender reflection on her life and how she has inspired you to be even kinder. I wish you and your family peace and love.

So sorry for your loss. What a beautiful post. Such a lovely way to honor her.
I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Yesterday marked a year since my father died and he too was a truly inspirational and loving person. It really helps us to remember them to acknowledge their specialness and seek to emulate their kindness in our everydays thereafter. And I thank you for your music which has helped me so often through this difficult time:)
love xxx pamela
Sat Nam, Snatam,

Thank you for sharing your tender reflection of your mother-in-law. I know it must hurt to feel this tremendous loss but I'm glad that you are remembering her kindness and instilling that practice in your daily life. Your words inspire me to create a deeper relationship with my mother-in-law while I have the opportunity. I send you and your family love, peace, and a warm hug from San Francisco.

Dear Snatam,
Thank you for sharing, and helping to remember that everybody has to struggle in one or the other way, but you can always be kind and grateful. Sometimes we need someone who reminds us of that.
Many blessings to you and your family.
Blessings and a lot of love to you and your family across the waters from Aland Islands in Scandinavia!<3
thank you so much for your words...
love Olaus
So beautiful, thank you for this.
Thank you. Donna has now also touched me, and you too.
Blessings to you and your family in this time of loss and reflection.
Beautiful. Thank you. :)
Thank you Snatam for taking the time to write today. So sorry to hear of your Loss... I love what you have written. It touched my heart. Blessings and may you all be surrounded grace. Akallll Akallll Akallll
Thank-you for your lovely words. They are beautiful, and she does live on by you aspiring to be like her in the ways she loved, and showed kindness. I hope you do at some point sit down and cry because its ok to grieve. I do find when people leave us, we can take the parts of them we loved and add them to who we are. :) Love Brianna
Sat Nam!! Thank you for sharing with us your beautiful and inner feelings and had a good teacher in your mother-in-law...
Blessings for you and all your family.And keep bringing us such a happiness with your lovely voice!!
Sat Nam Snatam Kaur!! Thank you for sharing with us this inner thoughts and feelings...loosing our loved ones cause us pain...but think that she will be always with you deep inside your heart...
Thank you also for your sweet voice the Divine God granted you, that make my spirit arise... blessings.
Siri Akal Kaur
it's very sad to hear abt ur mother in law...may she RIP.
i pray to all mighty that she walks on roads to heaven..may baba ji bless u nd ur family wid loads of courage to bear d loss of sch a precious gem frm ur family..

with regards,
Deepak madaan.!
Blessings to you and yours. Gitanjali
Dearest Snatam,
I am so sorry to read of this. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. This is indeed a sad time. May you find peace. I wish there were more I could do. I too hurt for you.
Sat Nam,
Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring experience. My mother made her transition over 5 years ago and she becomes more present to me every day.The pure love shared is the energy I most feel as you so mentioned. Satnam. Thank you again for sharing your love with all. DiMoon
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